Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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