4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Welp...herpes.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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