No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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