I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
