can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
