i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
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My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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