Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
