I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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