Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
