Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
why do cheetos always look like penises
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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