Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
