You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Dicks are not precious.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
