wrigley field is MILF paradise
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
