Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
