You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
