so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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