Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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