If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize