I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So apparently I’m into choking now
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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