.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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