found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
