heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
