Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
