I bet he comes in French.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
