The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
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She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
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He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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