david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
