why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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