I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i barfeds in our rink
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize