just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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