Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
