I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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