You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
