I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
