ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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