Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
