Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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