I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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