Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
