Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
