Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize