Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
