Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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