Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
The air taste purple.
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