I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
