We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
