i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
