what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
