I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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