fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize