I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
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