If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
