speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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