thus making me awesome and them whores
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I want a musical about memes.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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