it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
