I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
