new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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