Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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