At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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