I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
