don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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