okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
